The Causes of Autism

February 1, 2026.

Life is an interesting journey.

When I first started my undergraduate program at SDSU, I began as a Liberal Studies major.

A few classes in Psychology later, I switched areas of study to Psychology.

As a graduate Psychology student at Cal State San Marcos, my initial goal was to earn a Ph.D. and become a university professor. I was even accepted into a Ph.D. program in Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto.

Fun fact: I actually did a research poster presentation at Stanford University in Palo Alto as an undergraduate. Of course, my research interests back then were way different.

However, I ended up not pursuing the Ph.D. and actually withdrew from the working world for a few years to take some time of personal self-exploration. I heavily studied the work of David R. Hawkins and English translations of Vedic texts during that time.

In 2018, I returned to ABA and fell in love with the field so much that I pursued the BCBA credential.

Later this month February of 2026 will be five years since I passed the BCBA exam on my first attempt, which apparently has similar pass rates to the Bar Exam.

I began this library in the summer of 2022, motivated and inspired by all of the vaccine safety advocates as a consequence of the Covid-19 circumstances.

At the time of my graduate studies, I found the Psychology graduate program at Cal State San Marcos intense; but now after all the research papers I’ve gone through to build this library, I think the program would be a cake walk now. It was actually at CSUSM that I learned how to conduct a literature review and why I thought it would be a good idea to compile as much information as possible in a single place. I had to write my own thesis at CSUSM, which required a literature review, a study design, a priori data analysis formulation, the actual statistical data analysis, etc.

My main thesis advisor was actually statistics professor and a Psychometrician.

Even though I previously didn’t pursue a Ph.D., I plan to continue conducting my own review of the various literatures and MAY consider pursuing a Ph.D. on the matters addressed in this library.

It’s been on my mind for perhaps a year that I need to seriously consider turning everything here into a dissertation and the thought just won’t leave me.

Fair reminder that the views in this library are my own independent, non-peer reviewed analysis and interpretations of various research papers.

I don’t know that I would find a school that would be willing to publish or even consider my dissertation, however, as I’m acquainted with the fact of the difficulty of publishing, or publishing and later getting retracted, anything that so much as hints at vaccines being connected to autism.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve remained anonymous as well, as the present environment of the journals doesn’t seem to permit such publications and I’ve seen little point in coming forward on an individual level. I instead compile the research of others and develop my own hypotheses and interpretations. If anything, it’s made me want to begin my own scientific journal that does permit such publications.

Regardless, for now it seems like the best option is to just continue my own independent analysis and share it with whomever is interested in reading. I think I’m doing just fine for now until I overcome whatever shyness or feelings of inadequacy preventing me from starting bigger projects. For me, outreach has been low and yielded no results. Then again, I could certainly try harder.

I’ve thought about turning it all into a book and then coming forward post-publication; perhaps doing so in dissertation format and letting the public come to their own conclusions. We’ll see. My bigger fantasy is in creating a university-grade textbook compilation of the scientific literatures. But the obstacle of the journals and “commonly accepted scientific consensus” is a dark shadow in front of the fantasy of creating a book that can be used in universities.

I want to study Ayurveda, the ancient system of herbs of Bharata-varsha (the proper name of India), and devise strategies for the treatment of autism (autism-heterogeneity and multiplicity of toxic exposures considered). Yet I know the FDA, in spite of their own hypocrisy in approving who-knows-how-many-products with unknown mutagenic and carcinogenic effects, closely monitors anything making claims for ‘treating autism.’ So I don’t know how that’s going to work, as I wouldn’t rely on the FDA as an authority figure regarding what can or cannot treat autism (sorry, not sorry) -and my own discovery regarding the missing package inserts for Wellcovorin is alluded to here as well.

So that’s what’s on my mind, today, Sunday afternoon February 1, 2026. The sun is shining through the window and the big tree outside rustles ever so slightly, mostly from hummingbirds traveling to and fro.

Life can be weird.

I don’t understand it sometimes.

But I remain hopeful.

I remain hopeful for a better future.

I don’t know what my future looks like; whether it’ll be alone working on this library or whether I’ll be in public sight discussing the research in this library (and I lack eagerness for the latter -perhaps because I want to only do so when I feel like I’ve accomplished enough with this library. Maybe I don’t feel competent enough yet and that’s why I prefer to avoid public eye on the matters here).

But I don’t feel done here. I don’t feel satisfied. I’ve another article in the works…chugging away at it here and there.

When I see my kids with autism and their parents, I think of this library and admittedly sorrow fills my heart. Yet, at the same time, I feel a renewed sense of drive for what I’m doing and what I want to accomplish.

The reader may be surprised to hear this, but I actually don’t discuss the contents of this library with my clients or co-workers. It’s not my job to do so and the burden of this library is a heavy one, one I’ve no desire to unleash on clients much less my subordinates who already have enough on their plate. I only had to explain to my region’s Clinical Director and CEO the true reason for my requesting time off, and they remain the only ones in my company that I’ve directly told of this library. Hence, I think the additional layer of loneliness.

“But Autism Librarian, don’t you think it would make your clients feel better if they knew you were behind the scenes advocating for them with this library?”

It’s not my duty as a BCBA to make ABA clients feel better on matters related to the causes of autism; I abide by my role as a BCBA for clients and staff members. To my knowledge, the field of ABA actually does not have any guidelines for conversations with families on the matter of factors connected to autism diagnosis, and it’s actually one of my future endeavors to develop a CEU for just that.

I do contemplate turning the research in this library into Continuing Education Units for BCBAs actually, so there’s that…

All in all, I just wanted to say I’m committed to continuing this library. I write it for myself but also my readers, committing myself further by doing so.

I’ve come to think of this library as a working-dissertation, though again I don’t know who would publish it.

Regardless, this library is my own little project of advocacy for my clients and families…and even BCBAs in the field looking for answers but unsure where to look.

I want to express gratitude. Gratitude to the Divine, and gratitude even for the unpredictable world we live in. No doubt that one’s life circumstances can either make you or break you; and for some people, hitting rock bottom is really the catalyst that changes everything.

Not to say I’ve ‘hit rock bottom’ per say or that I’ve had an epiphany that changed everything; to be honest, I’ve been sort of figuring it out as I go.

But there’s really no telling what’s going to happen is there?

Life can be strange.

Life is an interesting journey.

And this library became my journey more than I realized.

It’s become a spiritual journey.

So, you take care now, my reader.

In love,
Autism Librarian