The Causes of Autism

January 7, 2026.

I’m okay. I’m alive. My silence is a consequence of the crushing weight of depression at the knowledge I’ve shared in this library not being used for public health benefit in spite of my previous informing/tagging individuals I thought were leaders on matters of public health, government and non-government.

I notified via tagging individuals on social media when I published the pesticides-autism section of the library.

I notified via tagging individuals on social media when I published the available air pollution-autism literature of the library.

I notified via tagging individuals on social media regarding the Non-Clinical Toxicology section of vaccines.

I would even respond to many of these individuals on social media to make myself known to them, and in some instances obtained replies.

But when it came to the matter of the causes of autism, I received little to no response on my efforts.

It may surprise many, but in spite my announcement almost a year ago regarding the Non-Clinical Toxicology section of vaccines as well as the Valproate matter, I’ve received zero communication from the outside world on these matters.

You yourself decide what this means, what it means to you, and what your dharma is.

I’ve spent almost a year brooding in depression, anxiety, hopelessness, despair, etc….hoping that the information would be positively used by those with greater social media reach to help masses of individuals.

If there was fear that the information would cause public outcry, my assumption was that Psychologists/experts on human behavior could be consulted regarding how the information could be offered to the masses with as little impact as possible. After all, the entire pharmaceutical industry revolves around the manipulation of human behavior via commercials that goad consumers into asking their doctors about certain drugs and products due to the various aspects of commercials themselves playing on psychology -such as classical conditioning where positive associations between stimuli can be manipulated, a simple psychological principle that I learned in the earliest years of my undergraduate Psychology education. Of course, there’s other psychological aspects that tie into commercials, such as inflating the perception of social rewards of engaging in a behavior (later quite naturally rewarded by other individuals engaging in the same behavior whose perceptions of social rewards had also been inflated, now both individuals socially rewarding each other for that behavior), and that in itself is the basis of most commercials -an emotional appeal to our social nature as humans. When’s the last time you saw a drug commercial boasting of a person’s newfound ability to meditate and read in peace and quiet in the absence of the presence of others thanks to a new drug?

We’re very social beings, after all, and if there is anything I’ve learned all this time while working on this library, is that many would rather sacrifice integrity over their social relationships.

Better to have friends and get in trouble,
than to be alone…

Well, I’m the one that’s been alone.

The psychological toll has been great.

The CEO of my company has suggested I seek mental health services, as has the clinical director of the ABA firm I work for, after I informed them of the emotional state I’ve been in regarding the information of this library — a crushing weight of emotions that resulted in me having to request portions or entire days off last year.

But here’s the reality: there’s not a single mental health professional in the world with the background or experience for the matter of the Causes of Autism in this library, the discoveries I’ve made, etc. There’s no mental health professional with the background to help with this.

My solace, my consolation, has been spiritual practices. Meditation. Reading scriptures. Seeking peace. Seeking a way to keep pushing forward with creating this library in spite of no help and no communication from anyone on the outside: not even a single word of encouragement.

That’s the sad reality: I’ve received not a single word of encouragement for starting this library. Not from various leaders you would think would be happy this library existed, to be exact.

And to be clear, I’ve no interest in funding- I neither plan to sell the library, nor request money for it. I’m committed to charity regarding this library. The knowledge accumulation here is a personal act of charity. So there’s nothing to ask for or request in that regard.

Truthfully, no one has offered me anything for this work, anyway.

If I’ve received not a single word of encouragement from individuals I thought were leaders on the matter of autism, so what to expect of funding for the library?

Perhaps the bitterness of it has sparked rebellion and unwillingness to accept money for the library, anyway.

At the time I wrote the endorsement last year, I boasted of having zero conflicts of interest.

My perspectives have changed: it’s a circular argument, with one side always accusing the other of earning money for their perspectives and profiting off changing human behavior to their views. I no longer care to discuss conflicts of interest.

Integrity can be found in a wealthy person, or in a poor person.

Money is not a factor that impacts personal integrity.

My bitterness regarding lack of communication from leaders on the matter of autism won’t change- I’ll accept not a dime for the work. That’s my dharma, now. Perhaps it always has been, and I only needed realize it. Charity. Perhaps that’s what’s best for this library, anyway.

I’d had brief communication with a few Children’s Health Defense members in early 2024, but nothing came of it and contact was lost. I re-attempted communication after the endorsement in January of 2025, to no avail.

It is what it is.

You yourself decide what it means.

You may think, “but Autism Librarian, isn’t it enough to KNOW you’re helping people with this knowledge? Doesn’t that knowledge suffice?”

My response: I actually have no idea who this library is helping. No one’s reached out. Pretty sad, right? I periodically check social media to see if there’s any discussion regarding Valproate or Non-Clinical Toxicology section of vaccines, but the information hasn’t been used at all to inform the public regarding the risks of vaccines or Valproate’s relation to autism.

Perhaps I was the one that was relied upon, or waited for, to build greater social media and influence on the matter. But that was never my goal, which is why I kept tagging other individuals in my most important posts.

I don’t care about becoming “an influencer” on social media.

I’m not interested in playing career.

I’m not interested in fame.

This information was too important for me and I understand the weight of it; I have my kids with autism to think about and the unknown families and kids across the country, and I thought others would lend a helping hand in the best interest of public health due to the weight of the discoveries in the library.

My assumption was that the weight of the discoveries alone would suffice.

But, did you know, fame seeks greater fame and is afraid of loss of fame via association with those without fame? 😉

I also make good money as a BCBA; I only confess a previous desire to work on this library full time and for that I would’ve needed funding.

But now, I can hardly work on the library for more than an hour a week.

I used to spend a lot of time early mornings before work, late evenings, and weekends reading and writing.

But the lack of greater public support was crushing.

And I’ve berated myself endlessly about my own human desire for social interaction (so please don’t give me a hard time about desiring human connection), so much so that I no longer desire social interaction concerning this library. It’s too painful now. It’s not your, the reader’s fault. Perhaps you assumed leaders and others were communicating with me; but it’s not the case. There’s no collaboration on this library. I’m just a lone man, solitarily working amidst people who perhaps don’t fully understand the implications of the library (or don’t want to) and with whom I can have little communication about due to the mass behavior manipulation that has occurred regarding vaccines. People are afraid…people are afraid to talk about it. The decades long human behavior manipulation has worked: people are afraid to talk about evidence to the contrary.

You yourself decide what it all means and what your dharma/duty is.

No one can do it for you, except Divinity through Infinite Wisdom and Compassion.

You may say, ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get to it. The benefits will come, in time. Just wait. Just be patient.’

My response: I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for future parents, current parents, and children with autism that are not benefiting from the knowledge of this library for reasons you can surmise on your own. That’s what’s been crushing me; the weight of the knowledge in this library not helping greater amounts of people.

As a citizen of this country, I thought I did my duty by notifying the future Secretary of HHS regarding Valproate and the Non-Clinical Toxicology of vaccines.

I’m just a lone man working outside my regular job, after all.

The discoveries in this library speak for themselves: I’m not sure what people are waiting for.

But I’m done waiting, and I’m getting through my dark days…

And dharma is curious thing, and it can take time for it to fully reveal itself, only blocked of course by our own limited perceptions.

And I’m finding my dharma. It’s taken time. It’s been painful. It’s been a learning experience, but I’ve been finding it. And nothing, nothing can take it away, once found.

Better to abandon everything else, than to abandon dharma.
Better to abandon friends, family, wealth, fame, anything, than to abandon dharma.

Dharma is eternal.
Dharma is eternal, and it carries consequences…
Dharma is eternal.

Apostle Paul said, ‘whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap,’ and taught both personal karma and Divine dharma through that single statement.

And so I hold on to that, as well as other scriptures, to carry me forward in dharma.

And so I hold on to dharma, as best as I can.
I’ll continue this library; I’ve no other choice.
I’ll keep striving forward in dharma, no matter the cost.

Please be patient with me; it’s just been me by myself this entire time.

You take care now…you and yours.

In love,
Autism Librarian